Post 92 Hospital manager outwits his medical colleagues

 Paul entered the committee room with some trepidation but was grateful when Mr Weston, his consultant boss,  beckoned him to sit in an adjacent chair.   This was his first appearance representing the junior doctors at the consultants’ meeting.

After ‘apologies for absence’ had been noted and the minutes of the previous meeting 

agreed and signed, the chairman Dr Shah welcomed Paul to his first meeting.   Then there was a long discussion under the heading ‘requests for equipment’.   Paul learned from Mr Weston that a part of the hospital’s equipment budget was available for the consultants to spend as they thought appropriate.   A cardiologist wanted a new ECG machine costing £3.900, whereas a respiratory physician thought a spirometer priced at £2,450 would be a better investment.   The argument swayed to and fro for a good twenty minutes before Dr Shah decided that, in the absence of agreement and to save time, the matter

should be put to the vote. The ECG machine won a narrow majority. 

The next item proved even more contentious.    Mr Harrison, the hospital’s CEO, requested that the finance department be relocated to the room currently used as the consultants’ dining room.    He suggested that in future the consultants should dine in the hospital canteen with the rest of the staff.    He explained that the finance

department had recently taken on extra staff  and that the present accommodation was proving to be inadequate. This proposal provoked outrage amongst the consultants who detailed a hundred and one different reasons why their private dining room should be preserved.   How could they possibly discuss a patient’s medical problem  when the relatives might be sitting in close proximity?     How would it appear if they were laughing and joking over lunch, only to discover that the man whose wife they’d just told she had incurable cancer was sitting at the next table, was ?

Mr Harrison looked harassed but doggedly pressed his case.   He argued that it was wasteful of resources and an inefficient use of catering staff for the consultants to dine separately.  Further it was elitist for the consultants to have waitress service in their own private room, whilst other members of staff had to queue at the counter in the self-service canteen.  The consultants to a man rejected the proposal and in the end Mr Harrison backed down with the comment that he would have to make savings elsewhere to enable him to find alternative accommodation for the finance department.   Paul wondered whether the consultants’ equipment budget might be at the back of his mind!

It was some two hours later and after a further prolonged discussion about car parking when the consultants were weary and ready to go home that the meeting drew to an end.

‘Before you all go,’ the chair said above the chatter that now filled the room, ‘there is an item of ‘any other business’ that Mr Harrison wishes to raise with you.’

‘Ladies and gentlemen,’  Mr Harrison began, ‘I know that it’s getting late and that you’ve all had a long  day so I won’t keep you more than a moment but a problem has been brought to my attention

by the laboratory staff. The multi-channel analyser  used to analyse blood specimens has been causing problems.   It’s old; it can’t be repaired and needs to be replaced.   I’m afraid it’s an expensive item; the cost of a new machine is in the region of £180k, but it's an essential item and obviously something that will benefit every one of you and all your patients.’

‘Is that approved?’ Dr Shah asked.  ‘May I have a show of hands?’

Almost all hands were raised and the hubbub of conversation quickly resumed.

Mr Weston who had not spoken at any stage turned to Paul, a twinkle in his eye. ‘Well, Paul, how did you enjoy your first meeting?’

‘It was fascinating Sir.    Particularly the CEO’s tactics; tell me, will the multi-channel analyser come out of the same fund as the ECG machine?’

The consultant smiled.  ‘It will.   And you are quite right; Mr Harrison is a smooth operator; he’ll go home well pleased with his evening’s work even if he didn’t manage to throw us out of our dining room.   He’ll be back though, no doubt with some other clever ruse to claim the room within the next couple of months.’

Quotation for the day

Time spent on any item of the agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved                                                  C Northcote Parkinson  1909 – 199   

For details of Peter's novels and collections of short stories search for 'Peter Sykes' on Amazon books.  

Previous