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Blog 86 A teething problem many years ago.

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Mrs Meek was a big woman. She was loud, domineering and opinionated – all in all an intimidating woman who certainly wasn’t ‘meek’ by nature.   She had been admitted with abdominal pain but bitterly resented having to be in the main ward and she wearied the nurses with her constant demands and criticisms. She also irritated her fellow patients with her never ending judgement of the food and the behaviour of the nurses. The recipient of most of this carping was Lily Davis a frail old lady of 92 in the adjacent bed of the large and airy nightingale ward. This was particularly unfortunate as Lily was coming to the end of her days and would have appreciated a little peace and quiet. The ward was hectically busy on the morning that Lily died; the nurses were short staffed, a consultant ward round was in progress, a new patient was waiting to be admitted and Mrs Meek was due in the x-ray department for some pictures of her belly so Student Nurse Carol Jackson was delegated to prepare Lily
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Post 85 The Rectal Examination ' Do as you would be done by'

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 Recently, I had the unhappy experience of being curled up in the foetal position with my bottom overhanging the edge of the examination couch, whilst the urologist thrust his chunky finger up my anus!    Actually, it wasn’t the only price I had to pay for developing the problem that is so common in gentlemen of my age; he charged me £250 for assaulting me at that first consultation, though curiously only £100 when he repeated the indignity at follow up! What happened to the old Maxim 'Doctors don't charge doctors.' Having spent 40 years practising as an abdominal surgeon, I must have performed thousand of rectal examinations.      I had always understood that dropping one’s pants or knickers and exposing one’s rear end was embarrassing and it was my habit to precede the examination with an apology.     My apology though was expressed for potential embarrassment, not for any discomfort.   Certainly few of my patients have actually thanked me afterwards, but I can honestly
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Post 84 The student who was not as clever as he thought he was!

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  Jim was taking the Final Medical School Examination.    Pass and he became a doctor; fail and he would remain a student and have to sit the exam all over again in six months time. The most important part of the exam was the bedside assessment of clinical skills.   Each candidate was allowed 30 minutes alone with a patient before being required to present the case to an examiner.  Jim knew of course that the patient  would have been instructed not to reveal their diagnosis.    However, believing himself to be a rather smart young man, he decided that when introducing himself to the patient, he would open in a manner which might trick them into revealing all. Instead of opening with the usual ‘Now tell me Sir, what symptoms do you have?’   he would distract the patient by engaging them in some inconsequential chatter, then suddenly throw in ‘Now we’d better get started, so tell me what’s the matter with you? It worked. ‘I’ve got dilation of my ventricles, ’ the patient replied. Jim was
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