Post 56 Carlos from Catalonia struggles to learn English


Scene:   A ‘Learn English’ class in London.

Teacher:   Where would you go to post a letter?’

Carlos:     ‘I go to post box in High Street.’

Teacher:   ‘That’s right; you would go to the post box in the High Street. And where would you go to borrow a book?’

Carlos:      ‘I go to library or see my friend who has book shop.’

Teacher:    ‘Well done, but we say the library and a bookshop. And where would you go to see a film?

Carlos;       ‘I go to the cinema.’

Teacher;       Well done,  remember we always put ‘a’ or ‘the’ before a noun. Its a basic rule in English. So what would you do if you felt ill?’

Carlos:      ‘I go to the bed.’

Teacher:   ‘I’m afraid we say ‘going to bed’. It’s an exception to the rule. Just as we would say ‘going to sleep’ or ‘going to eat’. Anyway, before you went to bed, what would you do?’

Carlos      I take the clothes off !’

Teacher:    ‘No, since the clothes are your property you would say my clothes. So you would take your clothes off. But before you went to bed, you would go to visit the doctor, wouldn’t you?’

Carlos:       ‘No no no!!  No see the doctor! The doctor; he kill my uncle in Madrid!’

Teacher:     ‘Really? What on earth happened?’

Carlos      My uncle – he has bad pain in the chest. He go see the doctor. The doctor, he examine him, Listen to his chest. Put electric machine on chest. Tell him he alright.

Ten minutes later. My uncle is in street – kerpow – finito - he dead.’


Teacher    ‘Heart attack?’

Carlos      ‘No, hit by motor car’

Teacher    ‘Well you can hardly blame the doctor for that.

Carlos      Si Si. The doctor – he drive the motor car!!’


 Based on a TV comedy sketch.  Authors  - possibly Punt and Dennis

Recorded message on Australian tax helpline;
        If you understand English;  Press 1
        If you do not understand English ;   Press 2

Comments