Post 39 Embarrassing Medical Moments

Ellie Leyland was young and pretty.    She was also an enthusiastic and conscientious doctor undertaking her first medical job in the days when newly qualified medics were required to be resident in the hospital.

 The first cardiac arrest to which she was called occurred at three o’clock one morning and, knowing how important it was to reach the patient and to commence resuscitation as soon as humanly possible, it took her less than sixty seconds to rush from her bed in the residency to the scene of the patient’s collapse on the ward.     Kneeling on the floor beside the lifeless male patient, she commenced resuscitation in textbook fashion, administering external cardiac massage with gusto.

Unfortunately, whilst engrossed in this lifesaving work, she overlooked the fact that, when rushing from her bed to the ward, she had simply thrown her white coat over her skimpy diaphanous silk nightie and dashed barefoot to the ward.    She was completely unaware just how revealing the view was from the front, or indeed of her rear.     

The rest of the resuscitation team were male and understandably were significantly distracted and had difficulty concentrating on the job in hand.     This was particularly true of the anaesthetist who was attempting to pass an endotracheal tube with  Ellie’s bounteous boobs bouncing like balloons on a restless sea with every chest compression six inches from his nose.     But despite this the resuscitation was successful, at least initially.

Where the patient thought he was on being returned to the land of the living by this nubile young woman is not known, since unfortunately he collapsed a second time and sadly died shortly afterwards, some say from overexcitement.

 It is reported that later, a rather stern night sister took Ellie to one side and explained to her that  it was permissible - indeed advisable - to pull on a pair of slacks and a sweater even when answering an emergency call!

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 Quotations of the Day       

The report of my death was an exaggeration           Mark Twain   1835 - 1910 

Either he’s dead, or my watch has stopped.             Groucho Marx   1890 - 1977      

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