When Dr Richard Alexander went to work on that lovely spring morning in
April 2010, he had no idea that he would come within an inch of an accusation of
sexual harassment. When I say ‘an inch’, I mean a metaphorical inch,
not the sort of an inch of which a blue comedian might speak when telling a ‘men’s
locker room joke’ after the nine o’clock watershed! Let me explain.
David Brain was a youngish,
good looking bachelor who rather fancied
himself with the ladies. His
name was entirely appropriate for he was a bright, quick-witted individual; indeed many thought that he could be making
more of his life than working for a company that specialised in the demolition
of old buildings. Equally, had his name
been David Brawn that would have been equally apposite, for he was a tough muscular
individual who regularly worked out in the gym. He was also a county rugby player regarded as
a possible future international.
Because his job often brought him
into contact with asbestos, he was required to undergo a statutory annual medical
examination. The examination was a
requirement of the Health and Safety Executive’s control of Asbestos
Regulations, as modified to be compliant with the European Commission’s
Directive (83/477/EEC) relating to workers exposed to the risks of asbestos at
work!!! This is not the place to start a discussion on
Brexit - so I won’t!
A physical examination was
required as well as a lung function test, so an appointment was made for him to
see Dr Alexander, one of the general practitioners in his local practice who
had a particular interest in industrial medicine.
A couple of weeks
before, Dr Alexander, (‘Ricky’ to his friend and ‘Dr Ricky’ to many of his
patients), had undergone a hip replacement surgery. Thankfully,
his convalescence was proceeding smoothly; indeed he was pottering about quite easily and
climbing stairs without any difficulty. For the first few days he had used a pair of elbow
crutches to get about but, having a positive attitude, he had already discarded
one of them. Further, being a
conscientious doctor, eager to return to work and conscious that his absence was
placing an extra strain on his partners, he was back in his consulting room
within three weeks of his operation.
In truth, this was at a stage of his
convalescence when any of his patients who had undergone a similar procedure,
would undoubtedly still be off work. Indeed,
he readily acknowledged that had such a patient consulted him, even those employed
in a sedentary occupation, he would undoubtedly have offered them a sick note.
Rickie had already seen three
patients before David Brain arrived. One
man had a back injury after heavy lifting, another needed his blood lead level
estimating following occupational exposure while burning through steel girders
painted with red lead and a woman required an examination for ill health
retirement.
When David entered the room, Dr
Ricky placed his elbow crutch behind his chair, introduced himself then invited
the patient to sit. He apologised for
being a little immobile but explained about his recent operation. He then embarked on his medical assessment.
Having taken a history and completed
the necessary paper work, he needed to examine David’s chest. He therefore told David to go behind the
screen and undress. In fact he only
needed the patient to strip to the waist but when David reappeared he was
wearing only a pair of white cotton briefs which emphasised his pleasantly
tanned and well toned muscular frame. Although
Dr Ricky was as straight as a die, he couldn’t fail to be impressed!
Dr Ricky rose from his chair, used
his elbow crutch to walk round the desk then hung the crutch loosely over his
arm. Taking his stethoscope out of his
pocket, he listened to the back of his patient’s chest without realising that the
hand piece of the elbow crutch was rocking in and out, up and down against his patient’s
anal area.
The patient became anxious, his
muscles tensed then he took a step forward.
‘Hey, keep still will you,’ Dr Ricky
said. He also took a stride forward to
continue his examination. Inevitably the
crutch followed suit.
Then David’s entire body became rigid.
He stopped breathing and slowly turned
his head to look over his shoulder.
His facial expression was a mixture of concern
and anger. He looked down at his own
backside then up at the doctor. He relaxed and laughed.
“F***ing hell, Doc” he said “thank God that’s not what I
thought it was!”
Based on
a story submitted by Dr R Marcus, MB ChB,
FFOM, MRCGP. Consultant Occupational Physician.
Quotation of the day
A little still she strove, and much
repented,
And whispering ‘I will ne’er consent
– consented.'
Lord Byron 1788 - 1824
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