Category: Humour

Within a few days of qualifying as a doctor in the 60s, I found myself working overnight in the Casualty Department of a large city hospital.    These were the days before emergency medicine emerged as a specialty and had permanent medical staff.    The initial management of the most acutely ill patients was initiated by […]

‘Telephone for you, Mr Lambert.’ I groaned; why, oh why, do people have to ring in the middle of my Monday clinic interrupting me when I’m busy with a patient. ‘Is it urgent?’ I ask of the nurse who had brought the message. Apparently it was so I apologised to the ‘dishabille’ patient. The caller […]

Only rarely these days will a young man be sufficiently old fashioned to ask a girl’s father for permission to take her hand in marriage. It is understandable that fathers wish to interrogate those wishing to marry their daughters, not least to make certain they are financially secure. The experience of a father of four […]

Archie was in love and took his beautiful young blond girl friend home to meet his parents. He introduced her to his mother who chatted with her in a decidedly cool and formal manner. After she had left, she took her son on one side. ‘Listen, son,’ she said, ‘please don’t you ever bring a […]

It was Nat’s 16th birthday. He had received presents and good wishes from his parents, told that ‘No he wasn’t going to be allowed to buy a motor bike’ and was receiving advice from his medical father about the dangers of drugs. ‘Listen, Son,’ said his Dad, ‘if you can come to me on your 18th birthday, […]

In modern times it seems to me that when a young man asks a girl for a date, he expects her to be stork-proof and willing to stay for breakfast. But before the pill, free love and flower power, things were very different. Courting was a sedate affair; relationships progressing far more slowly than is […]

A few years ago, I was on the front line in our Accident and Emergency Department when a kid of about 17 attended. He looked anxious but also had a shifty look on his face. He said he had been ‘out on the town’ and might have swallowed some gas. He was cagey about the circumstances but I […]

The Consultant Obstetrician in the Lancashire hospital had given the fresh-faced medical students a tutorial. He’d taught them how to take a good and complete obstetrical history emphasising the need to enquire about the age of menarche, details of menstrual cycle, marital status, use of contraceptives and so on. He then led them on to […]

Brian was one of the world’s worst hypochondriacs. One day, whilst shopping in the supermarket, he spotted his doctor in an adjacent aisle. He dashed over to share his concerns about his latest medical complaint. ‘Doctor, Doctor,’ Brian exclaimed. ‘I’m so relieved to have bumped into you. I need your advice. I know I ought […]

‘Hello; you’re through to the Middleton Hospital, good morning.’ If Sarah had said that once, she had said it ten thousand times. She had been the senior telephonist at the hospital for many years. It was a job she loved, and she prided herself on her efficiency. ‘Get me Davies, will you,’ instructed the caller. […]